Progress in Alzheimer Awareness May 24, 2016

In New York, on the number 1 subway train there are cars with social awareness themes instead of advertising. One car reminds folks about being considerate of others, by giving seats to elderly or infirm     People, by saving litter for trash bins, by not grooming themselves on the subway, etc.

This week I rode in a subway car that had the following. "Are the bills piling up in the drawer?"

"Did you find the remote in the refrigerator?" And several more panels throughout the car.

Then the response. "It is never to early(or late) to get help for Alzheimer's disease."

Clever and available for all to see and to think about.

That's progress. It validates the experience some of us are having about ourselves or about those we love. It makes it socially acceptable to ask the questions about behaviors that seem "weird" or out of character. It reduces the stigma of this diagnosis.

My husband who died from Alzheimer's disease eleven months ago, feels so much closer to me when I am in New York, even though we spent the last years of his life in Arizona. Here he was healthy, vibrant, curious. Our home reflects the many collections he loved from the adventures we shared.

And this week I venture out alone again, this time to a destination that we had planned to travel together-Sicily. My husband will be with me in spirit. I will miss his acute sense of direction when we looked for a recommended restaurant. I will miss his knowledge of food--he could read the menu in Italian and know what to order. I guess I won't miss waiting for him to read every note on every item in every museum--except a bit nostalgically. I will be with a group; I will meet new people on yet another island with a long and difficult history. Life goes on and my life is certainly fuller and more meaningful as I remember the times we shared and the joy we each found in our marriage.

Cuba processing continued May 14,2016

Note: There are no ships in the Bay of Havana

This week I attended  a performance of the Malpaso Cuban Dance Company. I had seen them rehearse at the Sephardic Center in Havana, Cuba when we were visiting. We naively presented this group of dancers with toiletries, as requested by our tour company. Now I discover they have been on  15 city tour of the US and this is their second appearance in the states. Another friend said they were also invited to another venue here in New York earlier this year.I felt a bit as I said, naive. 

I also feel they are being exploited a bit. Not that they don,t like it They must love the attention. An American of Cuban heritage Arturo O'Farrill composed a work for them and his band was at the Joyce accompanying  them. Another American choreographer Trey McIntyre has been sent under the Joyce,s auspices to write for this group.

What could be better? They were reviewed in the NYTimes! A tepid review which compared the group to a worn loved sweater..

Cuba sells tickets this year.

Happily we went to the Sephardic Center on a Friday morning and my friend and I walked back in the evening for Shabbat services.The building has many uses including a gym, a children's educational program, social services and holiday celebrations. The congregation eats dinner together after the services. We were invited and we spoke with the young woman who sang the service so beautifully, her father explaining to us that about 200 congregants would spend the holidays together.

Later I discovered that for 40 years all religion was banned in Cuba and the Jewish people had a very difficult time. As many as could do so, left.

Cubans blame America and the embargo for their economic problems. Surely the embargo hurts.There are several lawsuits that will prevent the embargo from being lifted any time soon. The companies whose property was nationalized want financial compensation. Many are corporations like Domino Sugar and Hershey. Cuba has no money to pay them and will not allow any company to own more than 49 per cent ever again, and Cuba expects 50 per cent of the profits as well.individuals also have millions of dollar law suits against Cuba?s privatization of their homes and companies. The situation is complicated and will take a long time to get sorted, in my humble opinion.

We met several entrepreneurial people who fix their old cars, make music, dance and sing. But generally, the people of Cuba have been brought up to be receivers, not producers, compliant, not competitive. I was told the sidewalks where President Obama was to walk were repaired before his visit. We were shown the cathedral which was sandblasted clean before the Pope'svisit. The other buildings in the plaza where the cathedral its in all its splendor are not clean. The sidewalks when we walked to the synagogue were not repaired. We will take from Cuba whatever will benefit American companies. Sadly I don't think we will provide much for the Cuban people.

 

Cuba visit part two May 9, 2016

We were served Mojito's a the beginning of every meal and at many events. Mojitos are lime and mint drinks with a club soda base    ------and doused liberally with rum!!

Havana Club is the Cuban name for Baccardi which is in a disagreement with Cuba over the use of their name for the rum which is made in Cuba, but no longer owned by the family.

Cuba is suddenly in the news every day. A cruise ship docked in Havana last week, the first one in forty years. Coco Chanel's company paraded their expensive clothing on what used to be an upscale street  called the Prada, in the heart of Havana, but the locals were kept far away. They didn't even see the show--and no Cuban could afford anything in the show anyway. This week the Kardashians are in Cuba.

Lots of publicity! One good thing is that there is a dance festival in New York this week called The Cuban Festival and a group that we saw rehearsing in Cuba called Malpaso, will be here for three performances. I will try to get a ticket. They are sold out online! Will the dancers benefit from the proceeds? I don't know.

The Cuban people are resourceful, they fix their cars with whatever they can find. They fix their homes the same way. We went to one building project in Havana, being sponsored by a company called La Californie, that is providing the materials, paint, whitewash, plaster, etc. to fix up each person's apartment, one at a time. The family moves out and the supervisors help the residents fix the apartment. Then the family moves back in and they fix the next one. Our tour guide explained to us that the Cuban people are not good with quality control.They are so used to deprivation, they value whatever they have or can make and are not critical. They are not perfectionists. Except in their dance, their music, their playwriting and acting. I have not read anything literary produced by Cubans as I do not speak Spanish, but I'll bet the quality of all their artistic work is superb. I bought a painting from Martha Jimenez while I was in her gallery in Camaguey.

We visited what used to be a ranch owned by a Texan, the King Ranch. The property and the cattle were nationalized after the revolution, but the name stayed. It is now a tourist destination with a restaurant, horse drawn cart rides and a mini-rodeo. The cattle died, due to poor animal husbandry. There is now a small project aimed at improving the herd to withstand the Cuban climate. Meanwhile, beef is rationed. The Cuban's main source of animal meat is pork. When a cow dies, they butcher the meat and save it for kindergartens and the elderly. They even kosher slaughter a few for their Jewish citizens who don't eat pork. In a restaurant or at the hotels, the beef is imported from Australia.

I met a woman who is an engineer who speaks English. She was visiting in Havana, having moved many years ago to Canada. She is grateful her two sons grew up in Canada and now have professional careers. She comes to Cuba on visits. She felt unable to remain in Cuba to rear her children. My first son was born in 1959. Had I been in Cuba, I would have left too.

Cuba Visit April 29, 2916

I am beginning to integrate my different reactions to my recent visit to Cuba. The reality we were presented was so different from my expectations. I knew the country was frozen in time from the beginning of the embargo in 1959.I knew the Russians provided for the Cubans until the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1989.

I did not know that the Cubans could not or did not keep up with ANY infrastructure maintenance or repair for 50 years. There is no road that traverses the island. It is 55 miles wide (north to south and 760 miles long east to west. It sits at the mouth of the Carribean with its north facing us. Havana faces north on Cuba's east. Santiago de Cuba faces south on Cuba's west coast.

Their cement factory is a closed up wreck. They make nails by hand, usually they are rescuing bent nails from ruins and straightening them for individual projects. They also rescue wood. They transport what little clay they have in the Western mountains for pottery which is hand turned.The people are very resourceful but not inventive, as far as we were permitted to see.

Our experience took us from Camaguey which is on the north coast almost in the middle of the country to Havana with intermediate stops in Remedios and Santa Clara, plus an overnight at the beach resort of Valadero. As we drove in our modern air conditioned bus, the northern keys of Cuba were described to us, but we were told that Americans are not permitted to visit, even to drive on the causeway to see the resorts that have been built to accommodate European and Canadian tourists.

The tourists arrive by plane, travel directly to the all-inclusive hotels and leave the premises only to drive bac to the airport. They don't need restaurants, trains or buses and the approach road is well-paved. Perhaps they rent a fr to drive to Havana for night life. That is one Cuba reality.

Another reality of Cuba. They have no middle class. The population is mostly young. The pedi taxis are manned by middle aged university-educated men who work for tips from tourists rather than in their trained professions in order to feed and clothe their families. Other middle and older men sit in the squares of the smaller cities all day. The only non-hotel or tourist workers we saw other than dance or music teachers or baseball coaches were hand rolling the famous Havana cigars.

Russia did teach Cuba how to run a communist educational system. Everyone wears a uniform, color coded by age, every child goes to school. There is a separate school for special needs children who often live there for their entire school experience. Children are assessed at age 7 and thse with special talents are sent to regional residential  schools that specialize in music and art and baseball. More Cuban realities will follow.

Passover Preparation April 19, 2016

I know you are all waiting for my report on my amazing visit to Cuba, but I am processing my views and I have not put my thoughts in any presentable order yet. The order I am engrossed in this week is getting ready for Passover.

Preparing for Passover requires quite a bit of shopping, cooking and cleaning. Each task I do lovingly, remembering my mother's household and the people we were so lucky and so thankful to have with us once more. I am of course referring to my grandparents who arrived at the end of January 1947 and soon thereafter celebrated this holiday of Pesach,  this holiday of freedom, this holiday where we welcome the stranger into our homes.

It was then, the first Passover I attended after learning the Four Questions during my first year of Hebrew School as many of you have read in my new book The Key, the Turtle and the Bottle of Schnapps. It has been my favorite holiday ever since then. I sat at my grandfather's right for the next twenty-two years as we moved from Newark, New Jersey to Millburn, from child to mother of my own children. I sat at my father's right for the next decade, continuing the tradition after he died at my mother's side as she cooked and cleaned, until she needed the help of her daughters to prepare the feast for the family of her grandchildren, always welcoming guests into her home.

Today I feel my mother's presence as I prepare the chopped liver appetizer. I render the chicken fat as she did, frying it in the pan with the onions and the five chicken livers. My mother only used the one liver that lived in the chicken she cooked for the matzo ball soup. Most of her guests preferred the sweet gefilte fish she made. My family prefers chopped liver. As I peeled the ten eggs, I missed my mother's wooden bowl and the curved chopping knife which I learned is called a mezzaluna. So off I went to the megastore to purchase a wooden bowl and a chopper, and the chopped liver is authentic to my memory of it.

After my trip to Cuba, the store was overwhelming. The Cubans have no such store nor any of the items in it. They have the same tools their mothers and their grandmothers used for cooking, but most likely  far less variety of ingredients than their grandparents had before the revolution.

For those of you who are also preparing and participating in this ancient ritual, remember those who are not yet free, remember the refugees waiting for acceptance and welcome the stranger in your midst. Have a sweet and just Passover.

Getting Ready March 28, 2016

I guess I have been getting ready for my visit to Cuba since last September when the decision was made. I am looking forward to seeing the 1950's cars, still on the road. I admire the people and their music, their spirit and their positive attitude. The details of our trip began to accumulate as I learned more about the group with which we will be traveling and the actual itinerary.

My husband and I travelled to China in 1999 before China was open to American tourists. Just as is now with Cuba, we had to be accompanied by a government guide and we had to adhere to previously established routes and routines with no independent travel. We will travel again with People to People Ambassador Program, an attempt begun by President Eisenhower to establish relationships with Communist countries. In China we were with 15 other couples, one partner of each group was a health care professional. The professional was required to attend meetings with our Chinese counterparts. We exchanged information about autistic children's education and generally we all learned from each other. Our spouses went on tourist destinations --I was envious of some of their trips and one day I played Hookey and went along on the spouses' trip. There was some free time to enjoy higher quality meals than the group provided and the health care professionals also did much sightseeing along the way. It was a memorable trip and a rewarding experience.

So I am looking forward to a bit of the same, although this group will have only 20 participants and will have no specific agenda. Except of course for Cuba to show us Americans ( by the way, they insist on calling us the United States, saying they are Americans, which of course is true.)the best of what their Communist country provides its citizens. We will be presented with a dance program, a music program and we will visit both a school and a tobacco plantation before arriving in Havana. 

Anthony Bourdain had a culinary visit to Cuba this past year which we all watched on television. I began to worry I will not be able to eat much of the food. We will not eat at high end restaurants and at the family-run establishments just about everything is made with some part of the pig. On the show, we saw how they boil the pig's head and use the broth to simmer vegetables. Yum for some, but not for me.  So I will bring tinfoil packed servings of tuna and salmon, order rice and make my own dinner whenever grilled chicken is not on the menu!! I also have lots of peanut butter crackers and Kind bars, even a can of sardines and one of herring!!! I am anxious, but I will not starve!

Lest you think I am really being shallow, I will share one more bit of preparation for this trip. We have been asked to bring gifts for the children and adolescents who will be performing for us. We are asked to bring toiletries and school supplies. I mentioned this fact to my neighbors in my yoga class. One woman exclaimed, "I am a retired teacher. I have lots of school supplies." Another woman said she donates to homeless people all the time and she has toiletries to share. Each woman brought me a box of gifts which are now stuffed into my suitcases. The larger one weighs exactly 44 pounds which is the limit for taking into Cuba. I hope they don't count my overly crowded carry-on!!!!

Willpower March 24, 2016

We all talk about will power. How we can limit or structure our actions to fit our goals. Mostly we talk about it in January or in the fall when we make new year resolutions. Not only does the Jewish new year begin in the fall, but school starts and it has always felt like a new beginning for me as I entered a new school year.

I use willpower well when I decided to walk around the lake after my yoga classes 5 monnings each week. The weather right now is perfect for a walk and I am encouraged by my new Fitbit device that sits on my wrist reminding me of the number of steps I need to walk to meet my daily goal.

I thought I was using willpower well as I attempt to reduce my food portions to lose the 5 pounds I gained during the winter months when I was not feeling well. When I had so little energy, I kept thinking I would feel more lively if I ate something. Only time made my lungs stronger, the extra food was mainly, I  see now, for comfort along the way. It is so hard to lose those few pounds once again! I lose 2 and regain them the following day.

So now I am leaving on an educational group trip to Cuba where there will be little I will be able to eat--or want to eat. I am allergic to foods that contain milk and I never eat anything made with pork--or beef. Well, once in a while I have some form of brisket, either for a holiday meal or in the form of a half of a corned beef or pastrami sandwich! So I figured if I get myself used to eating less, I will be less hungry on this trip. No matter what the scale reads, I was doing so well, until....

My friend and I had lunch at a Persian restaurant yesterday. We ordered 2 dishes we shared. One was a vegetarian sampler and the other was a soup-like mixture with pieces of chicken. It was accompanied by delicious basmati rice. We left a third of the meal which my friend had boxed to go. I was happy. Then the waitress brought us to a lovely well decorated table with snacks displayed and annotated for the Persian New year celebration which just passed.  And before I was even aware, a piece of caramel candy (tastes just like peanut brittle my friend said) was in my mouth getting stuck in my teeth!! 

So much for will power.

We give in to urges of the moment with no thought involved. A piece of candy is not much for me to worry about, but others accept "just that one" drink or cigarette. I understand and I wish I had shared my intention with my friend. I could have asked her for help in keeping to my goals. And not trust "willpower."