100 Words for Sunday, March 11, 2012

I have a new dilemma. Experience has now shown that coconut oil can moderate memory loss due to dementia; essential oils can pass the blood-brain barrier and perhaps slow the progress of diseases such as Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s. In 2005, 2006, 2007 or possibly even in 2008 or 2009, I would have jumped at any compound that had any chance of affecting the progress of this disease. But now? I merely wish that my husband declines peacefully. I have ceased fighting. My support group and his psychiatrist agree this is the correct approach to take. I wish I were sure.

My suggestion to you, my fellow caregivers or relatives of folks with these dreaded diseases?? When I raised this topic in my support group on Friday, my peers whose husbands are still living at home shared they had tried these remedies and had achieved little or no lasting success. No one knows how the doctor who suggested this initially has fared with the patient who initially did so well with coconut oil. My peers whose husbands are currently residing in nursing homes( oops care facilities) are letting nature take its course, providing comfort care as usual, medication for diabetes, heart conditions and moderation of anxiety and psychosis and making sure our loved ones are treated with warmth and dignity.

What raised my anxiety level when I'm often confident that the decisions I research are valid and worth a try? I still see moments of lucidity when I visit my husband and I so wish to see him well, that I dream of something that will release the core of Bob that I feel some days is "still in there somewhere."

Steve and I took Bob out of Arbor Rose for an hour Thursday. This was his first outing since he moved in on February first.We drove through  MacD's to get a chocolate shake and french fries for him ( a mid-afternnon snack), drove to the park, sat on a bench near the lake as he, head bent, ate and drank. When he had finished, he raised his head and said clearly, "There are plenty of ducks out there." True enough. Then he said, "Let's walk," and we did until he looked up again and said,"That's too far," and we returned to the car and back to Arbor Rose.