A few weeks ago, I scoured my oven in response to my strong
feelings about an article in the NY Times Science section by Jane Brody. Today
her topic is the power of optimism, which is also a very difficult subject for
caregivers of loved ones with Alzheimer’s disease or other life-limiting,
mind-stealing dementias. Jane Brody could be describing me as she describes
herself as “someone who plans to get more done than time permits,” or who the
Mayo Clinic describes as a person who believes that “good things will happen.
.. and that negative events are temporary setbacks to be overcome.”
I don’t “give up and walk away from difficult situations.” I
plan a course of action, get advice from others and stay focused on solutions.”
When faced with my husband’s, at first gradual, decline,
which altered his personality as it decreased his short term memory, I did “seek
a different approach and try harder.”
But there my optimism ended as it blinded me; I didn’t
recognize my husband’s symptoms as an illness. I thought I needed to modify my
approach to his demands. I sought out many approaches and I tried as hard as possible
to find diagnoses that would indicate a possibility we were not facing
dementia. We read books about keeping one’s brain healthy, took supplements to
maintain memory, travelled from one medical specialist to another obtaining
diagnoses and medications for Parkinson’s disease, (Maybe, the doctor said, we
are dealing with Lewy-body dementia) sleep apnea, (Maybe, the doctor said, lack
of oxygen is causing cognitive decline) to refine the original non-diagnosis of
“some kind of dementia, probably Alzheimer’s type.”
My optimism surged once again when I decided to write a book
about my experiences as a caregiver to assist others in recognizing this
illness sooner, getting medication for our loved ones and most importantly
getting support from other caregivers so we can survive this daunting journey.
Now, Put That Knife Away-Alzheimer’s, Marriage and My Transformation from Wife
to Caregiver is out there, but not enough people are aware of it. That’s why
optimistic me is bringing the book to BookExpoAmerica hoping to give it wider
readership so it can be of greater help to more caregivers and their families.
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