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Tuesday, March 26, 2013

To Tell or Not to Tell Tuesday, March 26, 2013

First let me wish all my friends and family for whom this blog is intended a sweet and celebratory Passover and Easter where we rejoice in our freedoms and strive for enhancing freedom for all who are still bound by political, economic, racial or gender discrimination.

Next, to all of my fellow caregivers, families and friends, more about family celebrations with Easter coming this Sunday and visits occurring with and without our loved ones who have dementia or Parkinson's or Alzheimer's disease which robs them of the social niceties they once observed---or didn't.

What to do when a loved one, or a young child says "I want to eat NOW?" or who decides to leave the table just as another guest is telling a very interesting story?
What do we do when a loved one uses fingers to eat non-finger food? Or helps him or herself to food from someone else's plate? Be prepared that these events may happen. Give the person food when he or she needs it, on a safe non-breakable plate and able to be picked up with fingers or already cut into bite-sized pieces. Let him or her wander where safe, perhaps assigning someone to watch where he goes.

I am not with my husband this holiday week; I did not tell him I was leaving for New York. I thought he would not remember, although I knew he would miss me.

He said nothing about me the first week as my son reports to me daily, but yesterday a worker passed by from another unit, said "Hi Bob, How are you doing?" and Bob answered, "My wife's name is Phyllis and she is NOT here."

Steve of course said,"You're right, but she'll be here soon,"

And then he told me.

We are as proud as parents with a precocious child when my husband speaks clearly and we are happy that he still remembers me, but it makes me sad that he cannot remember that I will return.

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