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Saturday, May 11, 2013

Expectations Sunday, May 12, 2013

Here comes another holiday when we have expectations, obligations, a sense of entitlement perhaps and often enough the day ends with disappointments, resentments and a feeling of disillusion.

Why? The practice began with the fourth commandment: Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother. How exactly are we to do that? 

Honoring our parents was defined for me as good behavior. "I don't WANT ANYTHING from my children," my parents taught "Just that you be good to each other and do well in school and in life." That doesn't mean my mother didn't appreciate the homemade or school-made cards and arts projects we created as children. She loved them. The phone calls when we were far from home, the cards we sent which were all kept forever helped us to know we were showing her Honor and Respect

There were unseen and often unspoken expectations including whom we chose to marry and how we reared their eight grandchildren which also gave my mother great happiness and reasons to feel loved. Not all of us can achieve that as some parents have difficult expectations for their children to fulfill.
Just as some parents have feelings of disappointment from their children, we children often are disappointed in our parents. No one is able to meet another's expectations fully. We just need to find even a small way to express our gratitude for the life and blessings we have on this Mother's Day. 

We were never a sentimental family, expressing our love except for signing a card until Mom was older and developed Alzheimer's disease and needed to hear us say we loved her. My children and grandchildren and I say it every time we speak-I love you- sometimes but not always with a hug.

So what do I expect from my children and grandchildren? A card and a phone call from each would be nice and I am blessed to be able to spend the day with two of my three children and two grandsons who hopefully will be kind to each other. 

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