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Thursday, May 30, 2013

Patience May 30,2013

Written on my phone so please forgive the errors.
How often are we told to have patience? Ever since we are old enough to speak we are asked to
Wait to do something we want to do in favor of another perSon's wishes or desires . 
As  children we accept therequest often  poorly often loudly. As adults we suffer in silence. But we do suffer and quietly build resentments that form walls between loved ones.
How much worse that is when we become caregivers to a demented spouse or parent. We try to have the person maintain as much dignity as possible. We try to let him or her do as much as she can. 
But so often the repeated questions and the delay which we know will mean what we ask will be forgotten make us lose patience or do the task ourselves.
Even now with my husband in a memory care center it is difficult to be patient if he is napping when we come to visit.
Do we wait? Leave and come back later?leave and not come back? Wake him up?
And what if he is hungry for a snack and we know he won't eat his dinner if we give him French fries now?
Let's try to remember our 2013 goal
Comfort instead of crisis
Take it easy leave if you are tense or in a hurry.
New studies. Show our lovEd Ones respond to the emotions of those around them. If we are calm and patient there is more chan ce their anxiety will decrease.


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