Change November 1, 2022

No sooner than the plane leaving the tarmac, I miss having Steve here. Sure, he was anxious about the flights, especially since he has to change planes and make the connection. Which of course happened. As soon as he reached LAG, the announcement came that his plane had been delayed and who knew how long he would have to sit and wait for the plane to arrive. And will he meet the next plane so that Troy could still pick him up at the airport and could he still see Chipper tonight?

Now he's on a flight to St Louis and a connection that doesn't get him home until 8:40. Bummer.

It is so quiet here. I almost got used to having the television on the news channel all day, except when it was sports time.

I can't seem to settle. It is also weird not having to practice chanting or stress about rewrites for my speeches. All that was completed last Saturday. What a super experience that was. I felt really that I had accomplished something special, so maybe I would have this post-natal letdown whether Steve was here or leaving or not.

When I returned to the city after Bob died, I felt free and loved the solitude and not having to worry aboout him anymore, that I had felt in my short visits to the city while he was in the memory care setting.I thought then, I would never want to live with anyone again. And visitors were always welcome, but I loved my privacy. 

Now, I am no longer sure. My mind is now more open to the idea of sharing my life with, well, there I run into trouble already. Steve and I developed a caring respectful routine in which my life was modified, but I feel I was able to feel ok. Would anyone else accomodate to my wishes?