The cruise ship Concordia ran aground off Isola de Giglio in the Mediterranean Sea, reported from Porto Santo Stefano, Italy. I know the Italian name for the island because Bob and I were there in 1998. Abandoning a home exchange in Rome in August when the temperature reached forty degrees Celsius, we went to the beach. A travel agent found us the resort; we were the only English- speaking visitors. Ceramic plates from our day excursion to the island are our souvenirs. I wish Bob could share how I excited I feel about seeing our special places on the news.Of course I am upset that people died and of course I am afraid to ever take a cruise, especially in the Mediterranean, but my husband and I had such a special time, exchanging our small apartment in New York for places in all parts of Europe that we enjoyed revisiting together whenever someone else in our group travelled there, or when we saw places we recognized on the news.
When a partner or another loved one dies, we can say "Oh, he/she is watching from above and knows..."
But with a living Alzheimer diseased spouse or parent, we know that they have no memory of our trips, our special moments or even of us. I drove a different car to take him the the psychiatric appointment this week; he had no clue or interest in it or in seeing the doctor. He couldn't answer any questions even "Is it day or night now?" that the doctor asked. He said nothing.
The psychiatrist validated my decison to transfer Bob to the memory care facility, reminded me that any move causes stress, reassured me that Bob's medications were at the correct dosage and shook his head sadly when I asked if reducing his medications would make Bob more cognizant or receptive.